I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Threesome in a minivan. New low
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
