I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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