burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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