so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
