I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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