i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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