How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
