He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
