I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my shit smells like andre
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
