I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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