He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
