I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
