I think scott just propositioned me for sex
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize