phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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