I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
