Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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