dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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