so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
