R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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