that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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