Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
