Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
