you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Let's paint friendship bongs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
