just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize