You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
