Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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