I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
