dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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