We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
