I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
