final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
