just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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