First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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