I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
