I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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