Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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