You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
