yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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