I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
