One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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