The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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