I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
