Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Damn victory sex feels great
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