It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
