It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
