her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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