Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
