She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
