I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
