Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
