if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
