NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize