Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
