whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
