My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
