I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
