Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
