This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
