It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
