she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
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