rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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