I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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